When the call went out that our borders were open (and there would be no passport or security checks), I woke up to a tide of unwelcome guests in our family room. Ants.
Now I’m no stranger to these seasonal invasions and have an arsenal of natural deterrents and homemade concoctions on hand, so without further ado I proceeded to shower them with finely ground cinnamon and while they were spiced up and confused I swept them up and resettled them in The Great Outdoors, which as I pointed out to them is where they belong.
But what to do with another variety of house guest?
I woke up as I sometimes do around 3am to check the clock (and reaffirm to myself that yes indeed it is 3am and I am awake for no good reason) and as I reached for said clock so I could turn it towards me I became instantly aware of a presence beside me – on the pillow. I quickly flicked the bedside light on and there I was, eyeball to eyeball with a large house spider.
I am an animal lover and will even go as far as saying I like creepy crawlies but spiders are eight legged walking nightmares. I mean I know why they exist but I can’t see one without levitating or having an out-of-body experience. Once I realized I was the bigger creature I floated back down from the ceiling and watched him dash for cover on the underside of the mattress (they prefer hunting their prey under the cover of darkness). I then spent the next hour or so trying to capture him with a glass and newspaper as he raced across the bedroom. I am now of the opinion that Canadian house spiders are the Usain Bolts of the Arachnid Kingdom. He is still at large. I am thinking of reorganizing the furniture in our bedroom. I’m hoping that will flush him out.